Being a Parent and a Disabled Veteran

When me and my husband started to discuss having a child in two years of our marriage, we discussed many topics that the typical couple never does. What about all my injuries? What am I going to do when the baby reaches a weight I cannot carry anymore? What about my husband's injuries? After she was born, the questions continued with every milestone. Now with a year before she starts kindergarden, we wondered even more. We live in a military town with five installations. Plenty of schools have programs for military kids. But, what about veteran kids? We did our research of school systems in the areas we were looking at purchasing a house. Some of the school systems had us rethinking the area we were going to live. Other areas looked very promising. When we received a call from a builder that we had been considering promising us the biggest lot available in an area that was in the top of our list, we were ecstatic. We loved the 2 acre plot, we loved the community, and we loved the big house. The schools are within the subdivision so I was curious on what type of environment it would be for our daughter and the one on the way. I called the district and they were delighted to give me more information of the school and invite me to meet with some staff members. I was shocked at the complexity of the school....but in a good way. They had so many programs available and were extremely helpful. The biggest aspect of the district was that they attended to not only military dependents but veteran families as well! Having many staff members that were prior military helps with this as well. I think people often have the wrong impression that when you are "out" you are "out". But, that's not the case with many veterans like me and my husband. Doctor appointments, flare of up injuries, etc. affect our household. My father was in the military then became a disabled veteran, as did my uncles and other relatives. Very few left the military without something hurting physically or psychologically. I never realized how much this impacted my worldview until now. Growing up with a parent who was always in pain, seeing doctors, limping, etc. is difficult when comparing to your peer's parents who seem perfectly normal. My dad couldn't pick us up as kids so seeing someone else's parent swoop them up made me cringe because I thought it caused pain. We try to lead normal lives but it's hard when there are boundaries you cannot overstep or risk further injury. Having understanding of a veteran lifestyle even in the classroom is important because of our lifestyle is not really normal as happy as we may be. This is one aspect I think many places are ignoring. There is not enough support for the family after the military. Everyone is worried about PCS or deployment....what about a child who has a disabled veteran as a parent? That can be an even bigger struggle.