It Has Been Forever

Well, I haven't been here for awhile due to many things going on in my life. I was in a serious car accident at the end of July, dealing with preterm labor since shortly after the accident, school work, preparing for the baby's arrival, arranging everything appropriately to get ready for graduate school, and probably a dozen other things I am forgetting. Grayson (our son I am pregnant with) is doing great. He wasn't harmed during the car accident which was the most important thing. But, I do have to deal with future appointments to check on my own health after he is born. I hit my head again and my neck has been messed up since the accident. Not to mention the back issues that came from that as well. So my primary care and neurologist have teamed up together to come up with a plan of action after the baby is born. One of those things is attempting physical therapy on Friday. I haven't been able to lately since I have been dealing with preterm labor but they feel that it is important to try again even though I am still struggling with the symptoms. This is partly due to me now being 28 weeks along as of this coming Friday. And, the medication they have been giving me has helped tremendously. I have never been in a car accident before, so it has been a transition for me to deal with. I didn't realize it was so serious until a few hours after it happened, which the flight or fight response had a huge factor on that. It really hit me hard watching my truck slowly get repaired from the damage.....it took a month and a half of them stripping it apart to finally get it back to looking brand new. And, it didn't help the neurologist to remind me that if I wasn't wearing my seat belt, I would have probably not survived. Yes, thanks Doc, I want to hear that right now. On to a brighter note.....our daughter Elizabeth Rose has been blossoming into a talented young lady. She takes ballet, jazz, and gymnastics. Of those, she does amazingly well in ballet! I think it's because of how tall she is already being taller than the rest of her class of 4 and 5 year olds when she only just turned 4 at the beginning of the month. She had an amazing Frozen themed birthday party by the way. And, she is currently learning the different states in the US which is pretty fantastic. School has been taking up a majority of my time lately. The semester is over half way done, the next semester is around the corner, and planning next year has taken a toll on me. First of all, my time this semester has been focused on a paper I am preparing for not only my psychology professor of the graduate course I am taking now but the head of the PhD program director to be approved for independent study next year. I have been doing research on liability insurance I have to sign up for by the beginning of December. It is a requirement for any clinical/research work at the school to protect myself, clients, and the school. And these policies are no joke. My head was reeling reading through the multimillion dollar policies that will protect me as a student and what I can continue using with my private practice afterward. Reputation is everything....especially when you are a medical provider. So these decisions are extremely important. Secondly, I have added a new program on top of everything else that I am working on completing. It's the Native American Studies certificate that is newly offered at the school. I met with the program director and she gave me credit for some previous work I have done in regards to Native American culture. I also met went to a graduate student seminar and learned a ton of information. Most of which gave me a panic attack....all the qualifications I need to complete before the end of next year. Liability insurance coverage, GRE testing, Advanced Psychological testing, etc etc. Not to mention the course workload of the PhD program which includes a dissertation, two hour presentation on research conducted, and a ton of other things I'm forgetting. The manual was around 60 pages long....I remember that much! Speaking of which, I need to work on figuring out Spring classes tonight and get some homework done. Night!

Being a Parent and a Disabled Veteran

When me and my husband started to discuss having a child in two years of our marriage, we discussed many topics that the typical couple never does. What about all my injuries? What am I going to do when the baby reaches a weight I cannot carry anymore? What about my husband's injuries? After she was born, the questions continued with every milestone. Now with a year before she starts kindergarden, we wondered even more. We live in a military town with five installations. Plenty of schools have programs for military kids. But, what about veteran kids? We did our research of school systems in the areas we were looking at purchasing a house. Some of the school systems had us rethinking the area we were going to live. Other areas looked very promising. When we received a call from a builder that we had been considering promising us the biggest lot available in an area that was in the top of our list, we were ecstatic. We loved the 2 acre plot, we loved the community, and we loved the big house. The schools are within the subdivision so I was curious on what type of environment it would be for our daughter and the one on the way. I called the district and they were delighted to give me more information of the school and invite me to meet with some staff members. I was shocked at the complexity of the school....but in a good way. They had so many programs available and were extremely helpful. The biggest aspect of the district was that they attended to not only military dependents but veteran families as well! Having many staff members that were prior military helps with this as well. I think people often have the wrong impression that when you are "out" you are "out". But, that's not the case with many veterans like me and my husband. Doctor appointments, flare of up injuries, etc. affect our household. My father was in the military then became a disabled veteran, as did my uncles and other relatives. Very few left the military without something hurting physically or psychologically. I never realized how much this impacted my worldview until now. Growing up with a parent who was always in pain, seeing doctors, limping, etc. is difficult when comparing to your peer's parents who seem perfectly normal. My dad couldn't pick us up as kids so seeing someone else's parent swoop them up made me cringe because I thought it caused pain. We try to lead normal lives but it's hard when there are boundaries you cannot overstep or risk further injury. Having understanding of a veteran lifestyle even in the classroom is important because of our lifestyle is not really normal as happy as we may be. This is one aspect I think many places are ignoring. There is not enough support for the family after the military. Everyone is worried about PCS or deployment....what about a child who has a disabled veteran as a parent? That can be an even bigger struggle.

Under Construction....

Please excuse all the format changes. Still working on a design that will work for now :)

Hello!

If you followed my previous blog, welcome! If you are new, welcome! :D I am excited to "attempt" to blog again. It all depends on if time permits unfortunately. As the title states, I am a female disabled veteran. It does affect my life daily no matter how much I am hardheaded some days. A little about me.....I am married to a wonderful man for over six years. We have been together for almost seven (this December). What makes my man even more wonderful is that he is a disabled veteran too. So that mutual understanding and support is priceless. We have a beautiful daughter who is almost four who is homeschooled right now. And, I am now pregnant with our second child. I am also a full time student with the University of Colorado as a double major (Psychology and Anthropology) and a double minor (Philosophy and Law). I was accepted in a graduate class this semester and one next semester so I am having a head start for next year's journey in the Psychology graduate program to become a psychologist. My concentration for Psychology is trauma, specifically military trauma (PTSD and TBI). In Anthropology, my concentration is in Native American studies. Which is another fun fact about my husband and daughter, both being members of an Apache tribe. I am an alumni of the Wounded Warrior Project but have been a volunteer since I left Brooks Army Medical Center almost seven years ago. I also volunteer with a PTSD therapy group as a mentor. I use to volunteer at other organizations but I had to step away due to re injuring my back. Which I guess leads us to the disabled veteran portion. I am broken. There is no denying it even though I try to many days. I worked hard from wheelchair bound when my back was first crushed to crutches to walking. Last year I was finally running and was back to military strength. I signed up for the Spartan Race which I was pretty stoked about. I started working for the DoD with criminal cases which meant it could get physical during certain times. But, it all went down the drain a few months ago when I was in an accident at work. They put me on medical leave for up to a year. But my civilian doctor (notice I said civilian since the VA refused to see me, lol) scared the crap out of me by saying if I continued I would end up in a wheelchair. That leads me to where I am now. At the time, I didn't know I was pregnant. Me and my husband have tried for two years and it just wasn't the time. Right after I was laid up in bed with a long list of different physical therapy and specialist appointments I needed to go to, I found out I was pregnant. It has been a wonderful surprise, but it has helped me realize how my health really is taking a toll on me. My back has a one ruptured disc, one slipped disc, four bulging disc with one that is ripped, disc degeneration, and vertebra crushed against my spine causing nerve damage. All this has caused radiculopathy down both legs which has in turn caused numbness in parts of my legs including drop foot in both feet. Not to mention the shoulder injury, TBI (which has caused photosensitivity, visual changes, loss of some color vision on one eye, loss of peripheral vision in the same eye, migraines, and some short term memory loss), PTSD, and hip bursitis from the back injury. I am back with a cane, a sling some days depending on how my shoulder acts up, sunglasses even indoors, and a hat when outside. It's annoying to say the least. This is just a glimpse of my life right now. I am still figuring out the gist of this blog.  I'm going to take it one step at a time to figure out what I am going to do with this thing.  So far....I'm thinking some self-help ideas and reviews for products that make my life easier with the disabilities.  By the way, I sometimes really hate that word....disability.  Stay posted and again, welcome!